Wednesday, December 03, 2008 @11:32 PM
just read a friend's blog...
saw that this friend blog about a friend who passed away when we were in sec 4...
this friend who was my pri school friend...
this friend who i knew for 10 years if i'm not wrong...
this friend who was the first to give me the name 'dawny'...
this friend who i never visited once when she was feeling sick although i always wanted to do so (procastination was the only excuse i could think of) ...
this friend who i paid my last respect to...
this friend who i always rem her bday these few years but i just didn't say a thing...
sometimes i just wonder...
what right do i have to make people my friends, especially good friends?
what right do i have to dislike people?
what right do i have to comment on anyone?
and strangely, it leads me to think...
what kind of friend have i been to others?
what do i deserve to have these people as my friends?
what have i done to help them?
sadly, i hate myself for being a procastinator...
which was why i din get to see this friend of mine for the last time...
i only manage to pay my last respect for her when she was lying in that rectangular box...
i still rem how i saw the potrait of her there...
it was a cheerful, bubbly girl smiling...
but lying behind the picture...
is a girl...
lying there peacefully, i believe...
and for the first time...
i'm crying...
i know how bad a friend i am...
because it took me 3 years to cry for a friend i lost...